Five steps to successful change
In my last blog, I shared the main reasons why we ultimately fail when we try and make a change to improve our wellbeing, whether that be diet, exercise, stress management, mindfulness, sleep or finding more time for self-care.
Now you understand better what leads to failure, I want to share with you the five steps I teach to boost your chances of success and make long-lasting positive change.
“The elevator to success is out of order, you’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time” - Joe Girad
Ah yes, if you are looking for a ‘magic bullet’ or ‘quick fix,’ I am afraid I can’t help with that. But I can teach you a proven step-by-step strategy that you can apply to any goal you want to set.
Reflect – Chances are you’ve tried to achieve this same, or a similar, goal before in your life. If you were successful, or partly successful, what can you put this success down to? Was it being part of a group of like-minded people? Or taking a specific action or following a specific plan?
If you weren’t successful, why was this? What got in the way? What can you do to pre-empt this and mitigate for it this time around?
Know your why – spend some time really thinking about why you want to achieve this thing. What will your life look like when you achieve it? How will you feel? What will be different? The clearer an image of this you can get in your head the better the emotional connection you will have with the outcome and the greater your chances of success.
Also, check in and ask yourself whether your ‘why’ is just about you? If you are wanting to make this change because you think it will please someone else, it is something you ‘should’ do or is just the ‘right thing to do’ this is not a strong enough reason and so either change your goal or find out what it means for you.
Get specific – what daily actions are you going to take that you know will move you closer to your goal? What will you do (book 15 minutes of self-care time at home every week day that is non-negotiable and book a self-care treatment once a month)? When will you do them (as soon as you brush your teeth in the morning or when you come through the door from work before cooking dinner. Appointment booked every third Friday after work)?
What do you need in place to do them (know what self-care activity you want to do and have any resources ready and waiting in the place you will do it – book, bath salts, meditation timer etc or know what treatment and how to book)? Who do you need to bring on board to make them happen (tell partner not to interrupt during this time, speak to a therapist, family, colleagues, friends, an accountability buddy)?
How can you make these actions easy to do (set a reminder on your phone, book multiple appointments in advance)?
Do these actions excite you or feel like a punishment? If it’s the latter, then they aren’t the right actions to take for you – what else could give you the same results but feels better for you?
What does success look like? - How will your life be different when you have made the change long-term? How will you feel in yourself (less grumpy with your partner, more relaxed, able to sleep for a full night)?
Find a cheerleader – with the right strategy in place you are 65% more likely to achieve your goal. If you can find someone to keep you accountable and to encourage you along your journey, the success rate goes up to around 95%. You need the right person though. Someone who will be supportive and encouraging when you are finding it harder to stick to and won’t just let you give up - but also won’t pile on the guilt. You don’t need to share your goal with everyone either. Although this may make you more motivated not to fail in front of others, it massively ramps up the pressure and you’ll be putting enough of that on yourself!
The examples I’ve given are around incorporating more self-care into our lives as I know this is something clients often tell me they struggle with, but you could substitute them with examples to help you improve your diet, to move more or sleep better, to practice mindfulness or indeed to any other wellbeing habit.
Spending a bit of time figuring these things out really will help you to achieve long-term success.
If you feel like you need a bit more support to figure them out or an independent cheerleading buddy, then book a free personal wellbeing review and I’ll help you out with it.
I can’t wait to hear how you will use these tips to craft your own success story and improve your wellbeing, so do let me know 😊