Five Ways To a Stress-free Christmas
If you missed my recent free masterclass ‘How to have a stress-free Christmas’ then never fear.
Here are the five top tips I shared to help you through the festive period.
Tip 1 — Find the real joy of the season
Despite the added stress that certain elements of the festive period bring our way, most of us enjoy the opportunity to have some down-time and fun with those we love. It can be helpful to remind ourselves of what Christmas truly means to us as individuals so we can put the challenges of the season into some kind of perspective and not get so stressed about them.
Try this simple exercise:
Get a piece of paper and a pen.
Now, close your eyes, and imagine that the Government has brought in a new law and Christmas is to be cancelled forever.
Pick up your pen and write down the first five things that pop into your head that you will miss about Christmas.
This is your new Christmas Gratitude List and should be kept somewhere you can refer to it often to remind you of what truly matters over the next couple of weeks. The rest is just non-consequential sparkly bits.
Tip 2 — Accept what you can’t change
It is common to get nostalgic at this time of year and think back to Christmases past or wish things were different for Christmases future. It is ok to allow yourself to sit with these emotions, especially if they are because someone you would like to be spending the festivities with is no longer here for you to do so. Having acknowledged the presence of these emotions though, it is important to not allow them to cloud your present experience.
Things are as they are and unless you can do something to change this; finding a way to accept the present truth is the path to peace and joy. I am not suggesting it is always easy to do, but ultimately, we do all have a choice about the attitude we go into the festive period with. If you want it to be a happy experience, then start with the exercise I outlined above.
Tip 3 — Accept your tricky relationships
Christmas tends to see us spending more time with our extended family then maybe we usually do or even want to. If there is a particular relative who you know is going to be a challenge to spend time in close proximity with, then try one or more of these simple mindful relationship strategies.
Have a strategy in place before you go out, or the person arrives, as to how you will handle things if you feel anger or resentment welling up inside you. Make an exit to the kitchen to prepare drinks? Quick trip to the loo to take five deep breaths? Take the dog out for a quick walk? Have a reason to leave early if it gets too much?
Your brain has a tendency to focus on the negative so make a conscious effort to place your attention on someone else in the room who you feel more positively about and enjoy the company of and pour all of your attention onto them.
Practice visualising that you are safe inside an imaginary bubble and any sharp words or comments will just bounce off you without making any kind of a dent in your good mood.
Remember, you can’t change other people…but you can choose how you relate to them!
Tip 4 — Let go of the idea of the ‘perfect’ Christmas
We’ve been brought up on adverts portraying the ‘perfect’ family Christmas and being made to feel somehow inadequate if we don’t ‘do’ everything to make this a reality.
The truth is… the ‘perfect’ Christmas does not have to include Christmas Eve boxes, matching family pyjamas or perfectly crispy roast potatoes. Can it truly be called ‘perfect’ if you are burnt out and stressed by making sure everyone else has a great time?
Write down a list of the things that you are worried might not go ‘perfectly’.
Close your eyes and imagine that very thing has happened.
Allow yourself to really feel the emotions of stress, disappointment and fear you think you would feel if this really did happen.
Now imagine this very thing has happened to your best friend during their Christmas – what would you say to them? How does it feel to say these things to yourself?
Now ask yourself these questions – will Christmas really be ruined because it happened? Will it matter in one week, one month, one year from now?
By anticipating what is likely to be ‘imperfect’ about our festive period and embracing it from the start, can really help remove the stress of worrying about it happening and allow us to relax into the experience and laugh it off when it inevitably does.
Tip 5 — Savour the moment
Finally, I want to encourage you to really savour the moments of joy from your Christmas experience. We often feel underwhelmed or disappointment once Christmas is over because we actually missed completely all of the tiny moments that made it special whilst we were focused on the stressful bits.
Make a conscious effort to stop what you are doing to watch a child unwrap a present and savour the joy on their little face. Hold that first sip of prosecco in your mouth and savour the sensation of the bubbles and the coolness of the liquid. Breathe in every sight, smell and sound that makes Christmas special as if you were taking a snapshot of it that you needed to hold in your memory forever. None of us knows what next Christmas will look like for us so remember to be fully present for this one as it will be perfect in its own imperfect way!
Wishing you a merry, and a stress-free Christmas x